ThreeDimensionalPeople Why don't you go outside and play with the three dimensional people?

Review: W Retreat and Spa, Bali

Going to a W hotel makes me feel like I've been given a backstage pass to New York Fashion week. All models, intrigue and in crowd. This can be good and bad. Fun to people watch - skinny waifs channelling Twiggy having deep conversations with swarthy looking guys smoking french cigarettes. The music is relentlessly hip, night-club loud and in your face. Design tends to be front and center. It's not a hotel experience for those who want to focus on other things. It's a precocious child that needs your attention, but gets it because it is disarmingly cute.

The W Retreat and Spa Bali at Seminyak is no exception. Open for just over a month, it leaps out with impressive confidence despite its youth. The architecture is very open - all smooth curves and open walls that invites you to gaze out to the pools and the sea beyond. The DJ curated music lures you to the beach bar. The wavy walls, green and purple accents, brightly colored rocking chairs and army of model ducks decorating the place say we don't do convention, and nor do you.

I was only staying one night as part of a multi-city world tour, and i was travelling alone, so not the usual demographic of strutting couples. I wasn't particularly bothered, enjoyed people watching while eating a magnificent brunch buffet then went to hang by the pool. It was only when the waiter asked me where my friend was - a hairy chap with an unpleasant speedo who had sat down next to me - did being single feel like a chore.

First the room. They upgraded me to a "Spectacular" ocean view, even though I only paid for the poor man's view (room was $300+ tax on SPG.com) and it was as promised. Large with a spectacular view, and a L-shaped sofa and table. You could see and hear the rolling surf, recline on the balcony, or shut the door when the disco music got tiresome. There was copious amounts of granite and polished grey wood, with jaunty humorous touches like the flower-bedecked bedspread, cutesy-labels for things (e.g. 'munchies box' instead of minibar) and kaleidoscope (I would love to have been on a fly on the wall when they decided to prioritize that). Media was good - Bose CD/DVD system, 40inch flat screen (with a sliding screen cover) and connectivity panel.  Bathroom was very large, and had a roof light, so you could take your rainfall shower under the sky. Slight glitch when the in-room fire alarm went off due to a faulty switch - the stone walls served to amplify the screech to head-splitting levels.

The rest of the property was as intended - a resort for the cool kids, and those who wanted to hang with them. The business center was more like an airline lounge - Mac computers and cool sofas as well as free coffee. I had the buffet breakfast and kept eating and eating - everything on the menu and a la carte was included for a fixed price of around $30. The eggs benedict was fantastic - they used a blow torch on the béarnaise sauce. I couldn't sleep so went to the gym at 4 in the morning, and that had shiny new cardio machines and soft purple towels that I wanted to take away but didn't.

Unfortunately for a beach resort there was a large No Swimming sign saying that you'd be swept away if you ventured into the water, and the sand was a rather dark brown, not invitingly gold. But that didn't matter to most people - the center of gravity was the beach bar and pool where everyone was watching everybody watch each other, so there wouldn't really have been time for a swim anyway.

Overall, two thumbs up, and would love to return. But next time will be more prepared - will bring an entourage, a well-thumbed Sartre paperback and a packet of Gitanes.